Shopping

While shopping last week I was lamenting being between sizes - nothing fit!  The size 14s were simply falling off me.  It wasn't until I left the store did I realize that I had dropped a size.


I am now a size 12!

Being a size 12 means that there is quite a lot more opportunities when I'm out shopping.  I can shop in stores like Express, Victoria's Secret, H & M, and others without worrying.  Before, at a size 14, I couldn't always squeeze into everything.  And other places didn't carry the larger sizes.  It's so freeing to be able to go mall shopping.  It's such a new experience.  It's so much fun!

In celebration I - of course - went shopping.  Thrift Town had a good selection, and I got a skirt and jeans - both size 12!  I bought a dress from Zara's and a skirt from H & M.  And I of course needed new shoes to go along with all these great finds.

I don't have pics yet of me in the new clothing, but hopefully I'll be able to share them soon.  But here are my new pumps.  Aren't they amazing?  They're purple!

Weekly weigh in (171.8) and diet

Last week's weight: 171.0
This week's weight: 171.8
This week's weight lost: +.8
Total weight lost: 54.6

I was in the 160s last week, and I'm again 2 pounds away from that goal.  While frustrating, I feel less bothered by it than I would in other weeks.  I'm eager to again get on my goal line (I would need to be 170.0 today), but - I hate to admit this - I don't care.

I want to lose weight.  I want to be a smaller size.  I want to get to my goal weight.  But I'm also so tired of tracking my calories.  I'm tired of caring about weight loss.  I know that the only thing that keeps me on track is watching my calories, and I've been slacking on that.  I need to get re-motivated. 

The first two weeks after my injury, I was motivated because I knew I simply had to stay within my calorie budget to loose weight.  It was something new, but now I'm bored with being super vigilant.

So I need a change.

I think I want to go on a vegetable, fruit, and nut diet for a week.  A friend of mine is on a similar diet due to health reasons, but I think it would be a great opportunity to try something different and see what only eating the natural foods would feel like. 

I think I'm going to try this in two weeks.  This weekend is v day and I don't want to impose on my honey.  Next week is a major work event that will occupy my during lunch and dinner.  But the week following, I think I may try this. 

In the meantime, I've dropped a size and am now a size 12!

Epic Battle: Me vs Chinese Food

Yesterday was an epic battle of Margee vs. Food.  Margee has been winning the war this week, but yesterday's battle proved more difficult than expected.  The morning began normally, with Margee knocking out Sweet Cravings with Trader Joe's Maple and Brown Sugar Instant Oatmeal, but as stress and hunger began to build, Tortilla took her down at 11 a.m.  Tortilla #2 and #3 joined in at 2pm, and by 3pm Food had made Margee feel powerless, and she simply sat out the rest of the day.  Two servings of Chinese food and brownies later, Margee retired from the ring exhausted and ready for tomorrow.

Yesterday sucked food wise and I'm afraid to get on the scale tomorrow.  I must admit I'm not going to log yesterday's horrendous eating because it'll simply make me feel terrible and there's nothing I can do at this point besides eat well today. 

Despite yesterday's horrednous eating, Wednesday marked the completion of my February goal!  For three straight days I ate within my calorie budget.  That's very exciting.  I wonder if I can eat another three days straight in my calorie budget.  I hope so!

GOOD BYE 170!

I can't believe it!  I am under 170 pounds.  Just barely, weighing in this morning at 169.8, but still there!  I can barely get my head wrapped around the idea that I was in the 170s, much less that I'm now in the 160s!  I've never been below 185 before, and this feels great!  (Sorry for the excessive use of exclamation points, but I'm very excited.)

I've been noticing my body a lot lately.  It catches my eye whenever I'm in front of a mirror.  I notice the bone in my shoulders, the pronounced curve of my hips, the way I look taller.  It's fun having thighs that are straight, rather than being bunched and curved in awkward places because there's simply no where else to put the fat.  It's great to have only one chin, room in my pants, and feel amazing.  I am amazed at how far I've traveled, and excited about where I've yet to go. 

My top priority after I get my refund check is to move.  I want to live somewhere I can ride a bike to work.  I look forward to pedaling myself forward, literally and figuratively. 

February Goals

I can't believe it's already February!  I'm still adjusting to the fact that it's no longer 2009!

Every new month is a time to evaluate my goals and progress.  By looking at a month at a time, it's much easier for me to see that I am losing weight, even if that particular week was a gain.  (Thankfully, not this week!)

I am right on track. I've never been right on track EVER before on my weight loss journey.  It feels amazing.  So my goals for February are simple: to stay on track!

February goals:

1. (Continue to) Lose a pound a week.  That will put me at 167 on March 1st.  Wow!  At 171 this is a completely new weight for me, and I love being here.  I can't imagine what it'll feel like to be in the 160s!
2. Eat more homemade foods.  I've been trying to eat less processed foods.  I've made tomato soup for this week's lunches, and last week was homemade butternut squash soup.  I would like to continue to eat non-Trader Joe's frozen foods for the rest of the month's lunches.
3. Eat within my calorie limit.  This is always the hardest for me.  I would like to have one week - a whole seven days - where I stay in my calorie range.  I think that's too big of a goal for me at this point, though.  So my February goal is to have three consecutive days where I eat within my calorie range. 

Weekly weigh in (171.0)

Last week's weight: 174.4
This week's weight: 171.0
This week's weight lost: -3.4
Total weight lost: 55.0

I didn't really lose 3 pounds in a week.  My weight has been fluctuating rather radically the past two weeks. I am definitely somewhere between 171 and 174, but I'm not sure exactly where along that spectrum I really weigh in.  I'm only going to be confident in the weight loss if I have a similar weigh in tomorrow.

At 171 I am exactly "on goal" for the year, which is exciting.  I have been significantly less hungry because I can't work out right now, so eating 1200 calories a day has been very filling.  Which is super unexpected.  It seems that being injured is not all bad, and it's showing me that there are many different way to weight loss.
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Stressed and sweet

Work is super stressful right now.  We have a half dozen amazing time-intensive projects going on, and it's very hard to keep on track of everything.  So hard, in fact, that I can not do it.  Simply put, I'm stressed.  (As a little disclaimer, I love to be stressed.  So I really do love times like this.)

The problem with stress is I become distracted and overwhelmed, which prompts bad eating.  Just half an hour ago, wondering how I'm going to be able to do all the things that need to be done in the next two hours, I was craving a cookie.  If only I could go out and get something sweet, I told myself, I would return to work refreshed and be able to get this work done.

I made myself tea instead. 

I kept working and am enjoying the delicious yogi tea I bought myself, saving money and calories today!  I'm very proud of days like today.  It makes me feel like this is a battle that will soon be less urgent and less demanding.  Victories like this make me believe that one day I will be able to have a healthy relationship with food.  Just one day of taking healthy over delicious or bad for me is a victory, and today marks the SECOND day I've overcome my temptations!  Maybe getting injured is a blessing in disguise - I am now eating healthier than I ever was while exercising.