Week re-cap

Weight: 203.2

Week’s weight loss: -3.0

Total weight loss: -3.0

It's been a week since I began to focus on weight loss/healthy eating again.  My goals were really important to me – Kate and I both paid attention to them, and tried to accommodate them into our schedules.  (Kate and I are constantly attached at the hip; we share one calendar.)   I feel like after a week, I’m ready to move onto some more goals, some of which are also health related.

Last week’s goals were:

1.       Lose a pound - SUCCESS

I didn’t just lose one pound – I lost three!   My starting weight was 206.2, and I ended three pounds lower, at 203.2. 

2.       Count calories every day this week.  Do not stop on the weekend – 6/7

Every day, but Saturday.  Pride got in the way, and I’m okay with that. 

3.       Count calories every evening, before I go to bed – 5/7

This only got done because of Kate.  She’s really great at reminding me.  It’s hard to count calories when you know you’re over.

This week’s goals will look very similar to last week’s:

1.       Lose a pound (or two, or three)

2.       Count calories every day this week.  Do not stop on the weekend.

3.       Count calories every evening, before I go to bed.

4.       Make healthy, not pre-packaged lunch.

Let's start over

Well, it's not really starting over, is it?  It's never really starting over - it's a journey and there's no beginning or end.  But right now I'm going to begin with the number 206.2.  This way I can be accountable.

Kate's been counting calories with me.  Well, that's not true.  Kate's been counting calories.  I've been pretending to count calories.  I need some accountability to myself, so I'm going to write it all down here.  I'm not motivated to lose weight like I used to be - I have the love of the life, what more do I need?  Except I don't love my body.  It feels slugging, weak, and as if it's competing with itself.  I don't feel as comfortable in my own skin as I used to - it feels foreign to me.  But I find it so hard sometimes to do things for myself.  But this I need to do for myself.

So, starting number is 206.2.  I have a week until the end of the month.  Here are my goals for the next week, from Thursday to Thursday:

1. Lose a pound.  
2. Count calories every day this week.  Do not stop on the weekend
3. Count calories every evening, before I go to bed.

It sounds so hard to me.  Every day, including the weekends?  Staying accountable to myself?   I know if I can do it this week, I can do it next week and the week after.  If I can do it today, I can do it tomorrow, and the day after.  I can do this, right?

Happy Valentine's Day (the day after)

Valentine's Day doesn't hold much significance to me or my fiancee, so our celebration was minimal.  I was reading Ninety Percent's blog post on V Day, and it made me feel like I had missed out on the lovey dovey holiday.  Kate knows I love and adore her, but what about all my great, amazing friends?  My family?  Maybe they deserve some blue cheese mac & cheese too.

Speaking of our V Day meal, goodness I overate yesterday!  Between the ice cream, tons of mac & cheese, and the chocolate, I don't believe I will get a loss this week.  Plus, I can't exercise right now due to my ankle, so I think I simply need to accept that fact, move on, and eat as healthy as I can for the rest of the week.  For lunch today, I ate rice and a boca burger rather than the DELICIOUS leftover mac & cheese we have in our fridge right now.

I'm halfway through the month, and I have a little more than half (6/10) my life points left on Health Month.  My three rules are:

1) Exercise for 30 minutes at least 4 times a week
2) Stay under my recommended calorie count at least 4 times a week
3) Don't snack after dinner.  3 times a week.

It's a challenging month, for sure, but having these rules 4 times a week rather than 5 (like I did last month) means I know I can accomplish my goals.  I'm glad to have this last week behind me, and for today to start the next week in my journey.  I think my goal will be to lose up to 1 life point.  Let's see if I can do it.

Weekly Weigh-In (185.8)

Current weight: 185.6
Total weight loss: 40.6

Wow!  I'm really surprised - I met my (updated) goal for January.  I wanted to be 186.5, and at 185.8 I totally rocked it.  


I was at a conference this weekend, and almost every meal had more than half my plate filled with vegetables and fruits, and they were sure delicious.  The caterer even made the cauliflower taste good!


It feels so empowering to finally feel like I'm "on track".  I am on the path toward achieving my goals - losing at least 5 pounds a month before the wedding (in late May).  I almost saw 190 more than once this month, and it feels so fantastic to see the scale slowly come down.  For awhile, 185 felt like an impossible number.  


My willpower is improving, and my goals are feeling more tangible.  I want to also train for a 5k.  Today is supposed to be my second run, but I'm feeling pretty awful and might skip the run in favor of resting and trying to be well enough so tomorrow I can come to work.  It's really frustrating - I've been looking forward to this run all weekend - but I'd prefer to stay healthy than force my body to do something it simply can't do and stay well.


My goals for February are to continue on the path that I set up for myself this last week.  I want to:

• Continue to train for a 5k
• Lose 5.8 pounds (be 180.0 by February 28)
• Continue to blog

The last one is a must!  I'm really excited - I've been chosen as one of Health Month's February bloggers!!!  I just love Health Month and jumped at the opportunity. I also like what they ask of their bloggers.  From an email they sent:

Write at least once a week about something Health Month related... how it's working for you, how it's not working for you, how you're adapting it to your special circumstances.  Don't feel pressured to censor yourself on my behalf at all... the best way to get the most out of this experience is to be as honest as possible.

I totally can do that.  I can't wait!  February's going to rock! 

The tools of the trade

After yesterday's crazy weigh-in of 5 pounds in one week, I wrote this list of the tools that I need to use to actually lose weight.  

The tools I need for success:

1. Routine - This morning I got up early and went to the gym.  It was amazing and great.  I love being out as the world begins to wake up, and starting my morning off right.  I've somehow misplaced my iPod, but hope it turns up.  All the same, my morning work out routine begins my day right with focusing on being healthy.
• Daily weigh-ins
• Weekly blog weigh-ins
• Morning gym routine
2. Lose a pound a week  - This is tied with the next thing - small, achievable goals - but I need a realistic larger goal too.  I also need to feel like I'm a success
• If my weight really is 176.0, I want to be 170.0 by October 1
3. Small, achievable goals with a method - This is the only way I can loose weight.  I know that if I have a measurable goal, it makes slip-ups manageable and doesn't make me feel like a failure.  To lose a pound a week, I need to be at a 500 daily calorie deficit.  (A pound is 3,500 calories, divided by 7 days.)  I naturally burn 1,900 calories a day without exercise, so I need to eat 1,400 calories a day to create a 500 calorie deficit.  
• Lose a pound a week, 170.0 by October 1
• Maintain an average 500 calorie daily deficit
• Eat four 300-400 calorie meals a day
• Eat between 1,400 and 1,700 calories a day, depending on exercise
• Plan meals ahead
4. Make healthy choices - This is the hardest one by far.  There is no tool for this one, there's on my inner psyche.  I make healthy choices by prioritizing myself, which I do by sticking to everything I wrote above.

Weekly Weigh-In (176.0)

Current weight: 176.0
Week's weight lost: +5.2
Total weight loss: 50.4


A five pound gain in a week?  I'm not even sure what to say.  Yeah, this week hasn't been my greatest for healthy eating, but five pounds is unbelievable.  Or maybe it's just a wake up call.


I have been haphazardly tracking my calories.  I have meal goals (300-400 calories), but I am not accountable to them.  I've been practicing the general goal of "LOSE WEIGHT" rather than "lose weight by doing x, y, and z".  I've realized I need at least an a, b, and c.  I need small, achievable goals and know how I am going to get success.


So I'm going to prioritize myself among the stress and new situations, and create these goals.  I realized that I've been feeling like my life isn't in control, so I couldn't prioritize myself among the wedding planning, crazy schedule, and Lovely Lady.  But it is in my control.  I can choose to prioritize myself.  And I'm very lucky to have a supportive Lovely Lady who encourages me to do what I want for my body.  

Post-Passover

Monday’s weigh in: 170.2
Total loss: 56.2

I’m back a little curvier, but I’m here!  Passover was stressful – personally (family) and professionally (professional Jew), but it was also lovely.  Passover is a holiday celebrating the Israelite Exodus from Egypt, and is an opportunity for the (inter) faith community to come together and celebrate the need for freedom for all.  I very much love my job, and I love the idea of freedom for all.  It’s such a wonderful holiday, even if it does involve some bland non-rising matzah.

For the past few months I have been unmotivated to lose weight.  While I haven’t gained back my motivation, I do know what I can do to get myself back on track.

1. I cannot dislike my fat away.  I hate how corny it sounds, but I have to like and honor my body and what it can do for me to lose the weight.  When I’m disgruntled, I care less about the wellbeing of my body and will often eat in frustration.  My body is a temple, and I need to care for it so.
   
2. Track calories is a must.   If it goes in my mouth, I need to record it.  Tracking is an automatic form of accountability, and it keeps me aware of how much I’m putting in my mouth.
   
3. I cannot skip the morning routine.  I’ve been staying up late for a variety of reasons, but I like my weight loss program and myself a lot more if I get myself to the gym before work.

I didn’t go to the gym this morning, but I did yesterday and I will tomorrow (and hopefully the rest of the week!).  I ate within my caloric goals yesterday and even hit every nutritional goal in the process!  I made myself quinoa with chicken Sunday for lunch for the week, and have been supplementing it with some frozen deliciousness in my work freezer (Morningstar Chick Patties, Trader Joe’s frozen rice with melted cheddar, frozen veggies, and fresh carrots).

In other news, this is my 100th post.  Go me!

Oh holidays, oh holidays

I have been thinking about family dinners, holiday parties, and being home, just like everyone else who is trying to lose weight.  My (terrible) plan for eating this holiday season: not have one.

It's not a very healthy plan, and it's not the best, but I've given myself a rest... month.  I simply don't know how to count calories and stay motivated while not maintaining my routine.  It's terrible, I know.  I just feel like I just need a rest, though.

I am excited to start up again after I return from Michigan in early January.  I can't wait to have my cooking, working, and exercise routine back.  This is similar to those who start their plans on January 1, but at least I know the steps now.

Hope you all are enjoying this holiday season. 

Goal weight

One of the big reasons I love losing weigh is all the clothes I now can fit into. There is still more to come (e.g. boutiques which offer clothes only in smaller sizes), but it's been an exciting process. I also have loved how much healthier I look and feel.

With all these small goals and changes in my life - daily exercise, shopping at "normal" shops, eating healthier - I haven't devoted too much thought to what my final goal weight. As someone who has never been thin in my life, I have no idea what I will look like at 160 pounds, much less 140. I have never tried on a size 12 dress, nor have I ever fit in a medium shirt.

I have arbitrarily picked 135 as my goal weight. It's somewhere between the low (114) and high (154) of the healthy part of my BMI chart. I don't necessarily have a desire to be a size 2 (and I don't think I could sustain that), but I want to be far enough from the high end of the BMI chart to have some breathing room. Maybe I'll be really happy at 150, or it might be 120. I simply have no clue and I can't wait to find out in the coming year.

Kristen over at Low Fat Dressing talked about this some on her Monday post. This is the first time I've felt that I have a choice in what my body looks like. I have all these options, and I can't wait to "try" them on. I look forward to being in Kristen's shoes, where I actively like my body, not just accept and love its functions. I want to be able to know what my preferred shape looks like, instead of simply having an idea in my head. What an exciting journey!

Redefining goals

50 pounds gone! Of that, I lost 40 pounds since the beginning of this year.

With only a few weeks left until my birthday, I've realized that I won't be able to meet my goal of 52 pounds in 52 weeks, which is okay. This year has been a huge learning experience for me, and it took me some time to understand the tools at my disposal and properly use them. I will feel like a superstar if I'm 175 on my birthday, which I'm less than a pound from right now.

I've been trying to decide what I will do with my next year. Will I continue the pound a week challenge until I hit my goal weight (around 135), or should I continue to try to lose 1.5-2 pounds a week? I am so eager to be on the "healthy" spectrum on the BMI chart, I can barely wait. A little more than 20 pounds to go!

Taco weight loss system

My friend just started the Nutrisystem, which sends people pre-packaged meals that they add fruits and veggies to. You order for 28 days at a time, and the program follows a low-calorie meal plan. Despite the fact that I restrict my calories, I know that this plan would never work for me.

I like flexibility. Even when I plan out what I’m going to eat, I don’t necessarily eat it. I like substituting things and mixing it all around. I’ll eat lunch for breakfast and breakfast for lunch.

I also am amazed by how much I’ve learned on this journey. I am currently enjoying what tastes like deep-friend tacos from my good friend Trader Joe, and after 8 of them I still have calories left in my daily budget. I would have written these tacos off before, and assumed that the enchiladas in the freezer would be better for me. I would have been wrong. (I also would have eaten a whole BIG bag of potato chips, among other fat things.)

I now know about fiber, portion size, fat, calories, and protein – and that’s just a sampling! I know what full feels like! Before I only knew what being stuffed felt like. If I wasn’t hurting from the food I just had, I would be going back for seconds, or thirds, or fourths. I don’t think I could have learned that from NS.

Yet, I feel like you could learn those things from NS, and more importantly, I think the system begins a journey that someone is taking. I can see the advantages of the program: you know everything they give you is "safe", taking out the stress of figuring out what is "okay" and what is not. It is so important to take those first steps and just deciding to make a change. I am really proud of my friend for taking charge of her health by riding her bike to the grocery store and trying to eat properly. Hopefully the food doesn’t taste half bad and she too is enjoying her dinner as much as I am.