Weekly Weigh-In (185.8)

Current weight: 185.6
Total weight loss: 40.6

Wow!  I'm really surprised - I met my (updated) goal for January.  I wanted to be 186.5, and at 185.8 I totally rocked it.  


I was at a conference this weekend, and almost every meal had more than half my plate filled with vegetables and fruits, and they were sure delicious.  The caterer even made the cauliflower taste good!


It feels so empowering to finally feel like I'm "on track".  I am on the path toward achieving my goals - losing at least 5 pounds a month before the wedding (in late May).  I almost saw 190 more than once this month, and it feels so fantastic to see the scale slowly come down.  For awhile, 185 felt like an impossible number.  


My willpower is improving, and my goals are feeling more tangible.  I want to also train for a 5k.  Today is supposed to be my second run, but I'm feeling pretty awful and might skip the run in favor of resting and trying to be well enough so tomorrow I can come to work.  It's really frustrating - I've been looking forward to this run all weekend - but I'd prefer to stay healthy than force my body to do something it simply can't do and stay well.


My goals for February are to continue on the path that I set up for myself this last week.  I want to:

• Continue to train for a 5k
• Lose 5.8 pounds (be 180.0 by February 28)
• Continue to blog

The last one is a must!  I'm really excited - I've been chosen as one of Health Month's February bloggers!!!  I just love Health Month and jumped at the opportunity. I also like what they ask of their bloggers.  From an email they sent:

Write at least once a week about something Health Month related... how it's working for you, how it's not working for you, how you're adapting it to your special circumstances.  Don't feel pressured to censor yourself on my behalf at all... the best way to get the most out of this experience is to be as honest as possible.

I totally can do that.  I can't wait!  February's going to rock! 

Running towards the goal

Today I began the Couch to 5k program.  Week one is: run 60 seconds, walk 60 seconds for 20 minutes (with a warm up and cool down).  Simple enough.

On minute 8 or so I began thinking that week one just wasn't for me.  I mean, come on, walking more than running?  I haven't been a couch potato.  I exercise at least three times a week - if not all five work days.  I can just skip these first few days of the program.

By minute 11 or so, I was glad I kept on trucking.  My legs and heart were starting to burn.  I could feel the strain on my body.  It was the perfect combination - strained, but not exhausted

When I was on my final 60 second run, I ran harder and faster than I had before.  It felt great.  Exhausted, I was happy to walk off the treadmill and feel a little bit accomplished.

Running isn't exactly my thing, but I'm going to try and keep with this.  I like feeling accomplished and I need more of it.  Plus, just like I said it would, totally totally rocked (calories wise).  And if I hadn't had a goal, like running, I know that I would have eaten more of those delicious Trader Joe's swiss almond cookies.

It's a journey

It's a journey, and yesterday I fell into the metaphoric mud.  Not so badly that I broke anything, but enough that my pants got stained.  And I knew it was coming.

After celebrating my accomplishment - being in my calorie range for the first time in a long while - I knew a bad day was next.  It's just how it goes with me.  I'll do great one day, and poorly the next.  Too much coffee, a free bagel bar, and a long conference later, I was picking myself up from the mud.

Even though I missed my work out this morning, today has the potential to totally rock.  Being engaged has been very hard on my routine.  I have not yet figured out how to motivate myself enough to leave a beautiful woman behind in bed next to me.  Instead, I packed my gym clothes "to go" and I'm going to hit the gym after work.

I talked with a colleague of mine yesterday, who found running during her weight loss journey.  She said that finishing a race makes you feel like you can do anything in the world.  After reading A Merry Life's triathlon journey, I am feeling inspired.  I put the Couch to 5k podcast on my iPod.  Running has always been hard for me, but I want to feel that sense of accomplishment, feel like I can complete something.  I'm going to see how it goes for me at the gym today, and see if a 5k might be in my future.

The only problem with running is that it doesn't nearly burn as many calories as other aerobic activities.  With those wedding pictures looming in my future, it definitely feels like a race to the (weight loss) finish.  Then again, I have been maintaining my weight, and a goal might be just the thing to tip the scales, so to speak.

Accountability

When I mess up, I hate to admit it.  I ignore the cupcake, the spilled mess, the unfinished paper.  I walk away from it, and hope no one - including myself - will notice.  The shame of it overcomes me, and hiding never makes it better.


Part of weight loss is being accountable.  It's knowing you messed up, and trying to correct that. But it's also knowing when you totally rocked it.  Roni's Weigh said it well today: 

For so long I thought I had to be perfect which led to dieting to getperfect but once I couldn’t be perfect on said diet I decided it wasn’t worth it at all. If I couldn’t be perfect then why bother? But I wanted to be perfect so I’d start again with a new perfect diet only to discover I couldn’t be perfect yet again. [...]

Since we already owned our UNhealthy habits it’s time to celebrate the healthy ones.  What are you doing right? What do you deserve a pat on the back for? Don’t be afraid to toot your own horn. Owning your accomplishments is JUST as important as recognizing what you need to change.

Well, yesterday I totally rocked it.  I stayed within my calorie range and I barely snacked.  I didn't eat after dinner - when I generally eat my most calories - and reached my calorie-related goals, even though I didn't work out!  It was a fantastic day, and it looks like I'm on the road to another one today.


For the first time in a long while, I feel like this is something I can do.  And that feels amazing.

Yes!

While I've been madly blogging all about my wedding, it's time that I dust off the scale and finally hop back on.  There's a wedding coming up in a few months, and you bet your bottom dollar I want to look snazzy for those photos.  I've gained back some weight, but no where near where I started before.  I'm currently weighing in right under 190 - about 25 pounds more than my lowest weight.  It's hard to accept, but it's time to move on and just dig my heels in.

For awhile I've been tracking my calories, but only Monday through Friday.  Living with my fiancée has kept me from doing Me Stuff, like counting calories or going to the gym.  We don't get to spend nearly enough time together, and I'm still figuring out how to lose weight while in love.

But I'm frustrated with my lack of willpower, and I'm going to do something about it.  I'm going to lose weight, and blog about the ups - and downs - on the way!  Again.

Lovely lady and weight gain

Still overeating.  Still gaining weight.  Still happy.

Having a hard time prioritizing myself when there's this gorgeous lady in my life I can prioritize instead.  It's not sustainable, and I know I need to change it.  But it's fun right now, so it's hard to fight the urge to please the Lovely Lady and cook delicious, not necessarily nutritious foods.

I've never had a hard time prioritizing myself before.  This is a fun, happy-inducing, hard thing to learn.

Weekly Weigh-In (174.6)

Current weight: 174.6
Week's weight lost: -1.4
Total weight loss: 51.8


It's hard to write a number in the 170s.  I feel that I should be in the 160s, because that's where I left off.  That's where my lowest weight is.  All that energy I took to get into the 160s is now gone.  It feels wasted.  I know that this is about the journey, not the weight, but it's still hard to not judge myself for being heavier - again.  It's hard to get excited about a pound a half drop, because it feels like it's a pound a half closer to what it should be.


On the plus side, a pound a half!  Yay!  And that's even with too way-too-much pizza last night. I know that I'm on this amazing journey toward a healthier me.  It was amazing to hike on vacation.  I love living an active lifestyle.


Goal review and how last week went:

1. Routine - 
• Daily weigh-ins - YES, for the days I had a scale.  This really helps me
• Weekly blog weigh-ins - Hellllo there!
• Morning gym routine - SCORE!  Last week I kicked ass in this department - for the two days I was at work.  I was "off" during vacation, and I took a lazy day this morning - but tonight!
2. Lose a pound a week  - 
• YAY! 1.4 pounds!!!
3. Small, achievable goals with a method 
• Maintain an average 500 calorie daily deficit - more or less, depending on the day
• Eat four 300-400 calorie meals a day - this is my downfall.  I've had many 700 calorie meals this last week
• Eat between 1,400 and 1,700 calories a day, depending on exercise - Doing okay here.
• Plan meals ahead - I know what my lunch will be this week.  That counts, right?
4. Make healthy choices - Trying.  I'm trying.