Let's start over

Well, it's not really starting over, is it?  It's never really starting over - it's a journey and there's no beginning or end.  But right now I'm going to begin with the number 206.2.  This way I can be accountable.

Kate's been counting calories with me.  Well, that's not true.  Kate's been counting calories.  I've been pretending to count calories.  I need some accountability to myself, so I'm going to write it all down here.  I'm not motivated to lose weight like I used to be - I have the love of the life, what more do I need?  Except I don't love my body.  It feels slugging, weak, and as if it's competing with itself.  I don't feel as comfortable in my own skin as I used to - it feels foreign to me.  But I find it so hard sometimes to do things for myself.  But this I need to do for myself.

So, starting number is 206.2.  I have a week until the end of the month.  Here are my goals for the next week, from Thursday to Thursday:

1. Lose a pound.  
2. Count calories every day this week.  Do not stop on the weekend
3. Count calories every evening, before I go to bed.

It sounds so hard to me.  Every day, including the weekends?  Staying accountable to myself?   I know if I can do it this week, I can do it next week and the week after.  If I can do it today, I can do it tomorrow, and the day after.  I can do this, right?