Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I want some gnocci
I wanna eat some crackers and cheese, burrito, sandwich, chips. Anything that's bready and over my calorie limit.
I'm not hungry, I'm just bored and craving. The delicious tea I just had is not improving my mood, just delaying it.
The gum I'm chewing is no substitute for pizza. Noodles would taste really good right now.
I love my job, but I don't work well when I'm not stressed. There's no upcoming events. I don't have any deadlines that come soon. I'm just bored. So I want to eat.
This is the reason I'm overweight. My relationship with food is really fucked up. But I'll get through it. This feeling will pass and I'll make some healthy choices for dinner tonight. Because I can, and I want to.
It won't "taste as good as being thin feels". Oh, my body- and fat-positive friends would be really upset with me if they know this line inspires me. I kind of hate myself for it too. But it does. And I need a mantra right now.