The Body Positive is a great organization that talks about "Health at every size". Since I've begun being active every day, my resting heart rate has significantly decreased, I can better feel my body (and understand her needs), and I can climb mountains, bike trails, and run races that I never thought possible for my still-overweight body. They reinforce the idea that I don't have to be thin to be fit. Or beautiful.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and am amazed what looks back at me. It's not just my curly hair and hazel eyes that I admire, but also the curve of my hips, the swelling of my smiling cheeks, and my neck that I like. For me, part of losing weight was not only acknowledging that I was unhappy with my current situation, but also that I am beautiful - no matter what.
Operation Beautiful began under this exact premise. You are beautiful - always. I have taken to (under their suggestion) putting sticky notes with loving phrases in random places: bathrooms, office buildings, and most importantly - mirrors. "Smile! You are beautiful. Life is beautiful." "Today is a great day to be YOU - you are amazing and beautiful!" Things like that.
It seems so young to do it, but it also makes me smile, and I love hearing comments. "Did you see the sticky in the bathroom?" someone will ask laughing.
I feel that this post isn't complete without listing the reasons why I am losing weight. It's a long explanation, and I'm going to try to give the short version:
- First and foremost, I have recently admitted to myself that I want to be "normal". Not average, but able to blend in. I hate feeling that I stick out - the fattest person in the room, the most colorful, etc. - and I want the feeling of just blending.
- I want to go shopping with my friends and co-workers. I haven't been able to go on a "normal" shopping trip since I was... 14.
- I want to be more active. It's been nice seeing the improvements of my health and strength as I've gone through this journey.
- I want to be able to trade clothes with my friends
- Shoes - my feet are fat like the rest of me. I need wide widths, and rarely shoes fit me.
- Weight loss has increased my self-confidence. It's something that I can accomplish. It's something I am accomplishing